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Lights Begin to Dance

by Cavalcades

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  • 12" LP
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    12" LP in pink or clear w/ black marble.

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1.
I keep my head in the clouds. To the point where the temperature drops down and I can’t feel anything. I’m looking down on the buildings but I’m looking at nothing. It’s a wake up call that you never want to hear. You say “ten more minutes, just please stay near”. I look down on you, like I look down on everything. I am vindictive. I am the ache in your head and I’ll watch your eyes lose colour as you cave in. I’ll keep your fear held close my chest and feed off of it. I am nothing. We keep our heads in the clouds. To the point where the temperature drops down and we freeze the outside out. We are all frozen now. The cold breath of the air whispers in our ears as we disintegrate and float away from here. It’s a wake up call that we never want to hear. We say “ten more minutes, just please stay near".
2.
I picture you with shards of tears tearing down your cheeks, in the dark in your bedroom. There’s still barely a twitch from me. You can twist and you can writhe but don’t expect me to sympathise. I’m detached and you told me that. Putting on those somber eyes can’t disguise the way you felt on those nights. Now I’m stepping out on the cracking streets of this crumbling coastal town. I remember at seventeen in the pouring rain, how I’d never feel that free again. Cold concrete underfoot and skies open overhead. I lost those friends long ago but I can’t say it bothers me at all. I just miss the youthful arrogance, the crutch that helped me limp through it.
3.
I’m seeing stars. When I close my eyes to capsize, I’m transported far away, watching romances burn and the embers fade. I crane my neck to the heavens and see the cracks in the street. I open my eyes and I am back on my feet, where I began and where I struggle to see. I am dazzled by a light that I can’t focus on, a purveyor of noise, opened up to the world. Watching colours burst, there are signs on every street corner but I am blind. Now I’m walking through the sand, tides and currents lapping up the weak. Tankers on the horizon remind me exactly where I place my feet. Are you lost? I could give you directions. I don’t have the answers but I can provide the questions. You seek to be anywhere that you could feel free. It’s always the worst that catches up on me, It’s always the worst that I can barely see. It’s hard to hold vision when you bring out the worst in everything.
4.
I’ve been pushing up the ground under which I’ve been sleeping. I’ve been coughing up insides I no longer feel are needed. There’s a chorus ringing out in my skull, I feel my bones shake as I lay down to cut out. I feel my nerves work, I feel synapses shutting off. I see the lines blur and I still can’t tell if I’ve had enough. We never want to see the way the sky changes as the daylight fades. We are fear incarnate, we are dear to the homes we’ve forgotten. I look around, I see the smoke and the mist and the trees. I feel my stomach jolt, this is the only way that I remember anything. Committed down to a note internally. I am a worn out of piece of cloth that you cling onto for comfort. I only hope that you can sever me for the sake of your sanity. Just let it be, don’t believe in me. I hear your voice shake, I see distrust in your eyes. I know you want to let it go, but you can’t.
5.
Goodnight glow, lean into me. A touch of breath, I see everything. Why not? As I drift off to sleep. A tree pulled out of the ground. Roots all tangled up. New build houses sit. People sleeping well. I used to think that time would never come for me, but I was never young in the first place. I used to think I would remain intact eternally, but I was never whole anyway. The frames creak in the wind. This is the house in which a family used to live. A tree pulled out of the ground. Roots all tangled up. New build houses sit, playing like they’re homes. Goodnight glow, lean into me. A second chance, I see everything. Why not? As I drift off to sleep.
6.
I watch my hands change in front of my face, they're creasing and contorting. Adapting to my tastes, they're creasing and contorting. I watched a door swing on its hinges and it sent me into a trance, I watched my life behind my eyelids and I saw lights begin to dance. I watched the cold get under your skin. You turned tail and stumbled back in. There's a chorus, a sudden glance, the cracks appeared in your perfect performance. They always said we would change with age, that we would grow up and fade away, like nothing ever fit in the first place.
7.
It's cold out on deck. Your lack of presence allows my bones to sink, as I watch the coastline disappear, I have no time to stop or think. In the wake of the waves that cascade and bury me, when the tide pulls away you are all I see. Two more weeks until I hear familiar voices, two more weeks before I look upon the ashes. Footprints fading from the sand, brought about by changes in the wind. Whispers of what never was scratching out the insides of my ears until I can't hear. The hands reaching down my throat, rearranging from within. I don't recognise myself, this isn't how we should live.
8.
Headshakes 03:42
What am I waiting for? The shock of life transformed? I’m gazing over horizons with pins and needles in my feet but in the back of my mind I know there’s nothing there for me. I was always a runaway, never finishing anything. A good friend just said to me “is this your easy out”? Well it just might be. I’ll look around and I’ll be alone, when my habit finally takes hold. I remember the bottles, the rocks and the dead wood strewn across the mud. Not strong enough to hold any of us, we will float up with the wind like dust. I look in other eyes and all I can see is fear, they look in my eyes and say “there’s just nothing there”. I was always a runaway, never finishing anything. I’ll always be a runaway.
9.
Reverie 02:08
I feel like I want to be the product of all the pain I put you through. I want to look inside your head and see shards of me cutting into you. I want to be clawing at your eyelids, keeping you awake. I want to watch you retract and coil and pray for me. I’ll tie a string around your finger, so I can pull you along. It’ll rub against your skin until you’re red raw to the bone. You’ll look down at the scar and love me like no-one you’ve ever known.
10.
I walk around with reckless abandon, the sun in my eyes keeps me from where I'm going. I never thought I could ever change, I'd be this way until I was face down in my grave. Like the sun through the clouds, your hands came down, grabbed me by my wrists and dragged me out. I still spend a lot of time looking down but I feel safe for now. It's a constant, the fear and frustration. They pull on your ankles and keep you from moving. Eyes pressed against the glass but still unable to see it. We are alone and the feeling is constant. I saw nothing in time for me, I saw a constant collapse. I saw unchanging, eternal and unbelieving. I saw fear and regret and sorrow and torment. I saw long nights, long days and nothing.

about

500 LPs (/250 pink, /250 clear w/ black marble) released in mainland Europe by I.Corrupt Records and in the UK by us.

credits

released April 30, 2015

Recorded and mixed by Graeme Watt at Seagate Studio in Dundee, Scotland.
Mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios in Amherst, Massachusetts.
Guest vocals on "Reverie" performed by Simon Barr and recorded by Oli Smith.

license

all rights reserved

tags

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